Let's face it there are times that we all have had to start all
over. The idea of beginning something again can be terrifying.
The thought of all the efforts of planning and
trying to re-call, re-connect and re-establish can be exhausting.
However, when the passion of what you lost outweighs
the pain of starting again…you go for it.
I recently experienced this myself.
All of my notes, recordings, scripts, connection
etc…gone in one exchange.
I felt lost, devastated
and totally frustrated.
All that I had
accumulated over 25 years was gone in less than 30 minutes.
At first I took it as a sign that it just was not meant to be.
Then a recalled a famous quote from an extraordinary
book that stated, “I good man or woman falls seven times; but the strong one
gets back up and begins again”.
So I
began to write again, reconnecting again and even establishing new friends and
networks.
I discovered the new things I
was writing, and the new connections I was making and the new friends I discovered
were the exact things I needed to propel me into my next level of living.
I realized I had established a life of comfort that kept me around the same
mindset of people who were literally suffocating the life out of me.
I wanted more but did not know how to go out
and get it.
I’d established relationships
with people over the years; many of whom I had not spoken to, in over 10 years.
All of my writings were based only on what I
ever experienced and people I’ve ever met.
I must inject here; I’ve met some exceptional people in my life, some of
whom are still very intricately involved in my life today.
However, I became very comfortable with my
surroundings and friendships and I did not look elsewhere for new connections
and friendships.
I soon understood that most of my failure to launch into anything new was
fear and fear of rejection. However, the fact that I lost access to my old
writings, friendships and connections so suddenly, forced me to come out of my “bubble”
and
“Start All over Again.” There are times our loyalty and commitment to
others visions and dreams will lock us into a life that keeps us in a
systematic life of going in circles but never achieving our own dreams.
In cases like this, I believe things are
disrupted in our lives to get us so frustrated that it will cause us to look
into another direction.
In my case, I
was not reading the writing on the wall and so I was forced to change the
direction I was going in order to really see the best that was ahead of me.
There are three main life challenges that I want to talk about that
sometimes can cause us to stop dead in our tracks and refuse to begin
again.
However, we have to push past the
pain of starting over again and become willing to start a fresh new start with
new people, new ideas and possibly a new location.
3 Life Challenges That Forces You
Begin Again
1.
Traumatic Life Experiences - Whether it is a
death of a loved one, a divorce, or a sickness that changed your life forever;
there comes a time where this too shall pass.
After the dust of the pain has withered away and you realize you
actually survived the very thing you thought would kill you…you suddenly
understand...you must move on. You have to begin again. Traumatic experiences
sometime leaves a lot of emotional pain that makes it even more difficult to
work through the memories of the pain you had to endure. The fear of dating
again, opening yourself up to trust again or believing you can go on without
the one you’ve loved for so many years is emotionally draining. When it comes to emotional healing…It can
sometimes be so frustrating, because you feel that you are never getting to the
root of the problem. Normally, the tears are so great it causes you to throw
the onion down and walk away. But don't let the tears keep you away from
your healing. Instead, be encouraged; deeply rooted hurts are embedded
within and are not uprooted easily. You must return to the thing that
brought most tears and deal with the layers of your pain.
Our emotional healing is like the "peeling of an onion". The outer
layer is big. This represents the most recent memory of your hurt that
brought the most tears. As you peel down the layers, the tears begin to lesson.
By the time you get to the core of the onion you discover the thing that
caused you the most tears and pain is not even something you can hold in your
hand. Suddenly, all the layers of your pain are gone and the tears have
faded away.
Go ahead and let the healing begin…
Peel the Onion
2.
Loss of a Business, Job or Home - Many of us experienced
the unannounced “pink slip let down.” Losing a job as the major bread winner of
your home is devastating. The worry of
how you are going to tell the family that the life they have become accustomed
to is going to change dramatically. The possibility
that you may lose your home, car, and great school system you worked so hard to
maintain has become a reality.
The thought of practicing another 30 second
elevator pitch, revamping resume, attending interview after interview is
exasperating. Looking for a new home, a
new school for the kids and even a new car all are life changing events that
you wish to avoid forever. Nevertheless,
you finally accept that you must do it all again. However, it’s this kind of life changing
experience that may help you realize your true passion and purpose in
life. You see my passion has always been
to help others become all they are called to be in life. However, I was trapped in a “job” that kept
me too busy to pursue my passion. I
finally realized my contract ending was a blessing in disguise, because I
realized my passion to own my business, spend quality time with my family and
help those in my community in their transitions in life from divorce, sickness,
incarceration and much more.
Because my passion was greater than my fear of
starting all over again…I took a step of faith and began to walk towards my
dreams and visions. I soon became
thankful for losing my job rather than being resentful. The loss of a job forced me to look in
another direction. I was forced to start
writing again, make new connections, network with new people and businesses and
come out of my comfort zone.
3.
Fear of
Rejection - Suffering loss in any capacity tends to leave us feeling
rejected. The fear of hearing the word “no” over and over again does something
to our psychology of thinking. The fact
of the matter is we’ve been there, done that and we conquered. However, recalling the efforts and time it
took to conquer makes one feel that you have no more energy to tread through
the mud of pushing past the no, the naysayers, the negative people and still believe in
yourself. It just does not seem like it is worth the
efforts it will take to try and conquer again.
Believe me, I know, as I’m approaching the “baby boomer” club, my energy
level is much lower than I thought.
However, my “why” is much bigger than the “no” and the rejection. I have a legacy that I need to leave with my
children and failure or giving up is not one of them. Follow me on my blog kellyjenningsmoth7.blogspot.com
to read more about my thoughts on rejection.
There are of course, many more life challenges that hinder our ability to start
all over again.
The end result is…if you
want to achieve your life goals and leave the legacy for your family as you
desire; you have to push past the pain and begin again.
So here are some generic steps to start
again.
1.
Rediscover Yourself: Before you launch again…take time to
rediscover yourself. Self-awareness is a
key element to beginning again. Discover what caused you to “fail” before and
make a conscious decision to listen to others who know what they are doing. Then, choose not to make the same mistake
again that caused you to suffer loss before.
This does not apply to those who suffered a death; however, if the loss caused
you to go into deep depression and prevented you from going forward for an
extensive amount of time, there is certainly something you can rediscover about
yourself.
2.
Walk through the Open Door: Realize there is always a silver lining…see
things as the glass is half full rather than seeing it as half empty. Every closed door suggests that there is an
open door somewhere. You just have to be
willing to find it and walk through it. Many opportunities await you…you must believe
that change is inevitable and sometimes good. Don’t
be afraid of what you don’t know or have experience in. You have the capability of learning.
3.
Tackle the Fear; Don’t Run From It: Acknowledge the fact that you are fearful, push
past the “onion”, peel it and start again.
Fear will always be a part of life.
Though it is not something we embrace, but we do contend with it every
day of our lives. A book I recommend every
entrepreneur to read is a book written by Susan Jeffers “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.”
It’s a great book to help you move past hurts, disappointments and
rejections and start again.
I hope this reading helps those who are dealing with life
challenges and needed a bit of encouragement to start again. These are my daily affirmations that I rehearse
in my life, because let’s face it we all have dealt with set-backs in our
careers, on our jobs, in our businesses and certainly in our
relationships. There comes a time we
have to face the honest truth that we may have to re-group, re-vamp and even
re-brand our image. But the truth
remains, we all have to start again at some point in our lives. Like Nike “Just Do It”… So whatever it is,
whether it’s a new job, business, relationship, education, weight loss etc…let
every set-back become your motivation to “Start
Again”
Kelly
Jennings
Certified
Travel Consultant
kellyjenningsmoth7.blogspot.com
